Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
