i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
