Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
