can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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