ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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