i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
is it fun? or sober?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize