The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
