I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
