Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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