I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
my being single is dangerous.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize