so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
