oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
