Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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