Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
