How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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