this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
