We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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