Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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