His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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