Say something about gay babies.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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