Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
