I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
