Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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