called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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