You're my little dorito
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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