i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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