Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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