a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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