I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
