week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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