Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
