well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
