Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
