We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
