i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I have already put on my inside pants.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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