Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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