R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
