just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
it hurts more in the daytime
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize