its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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