Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize