I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
