I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
