Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
