nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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