This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
