My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
