I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
