And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
