Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
