Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
