Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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