Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
