Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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