we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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