can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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