Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
