Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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