Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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