When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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