tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
