it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
