Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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