NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
