Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
