ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize