Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
