Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
