gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
