drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
