We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
