I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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