god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
