i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
