I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
