felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize