I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have feelings that need drinking.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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