I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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