pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
