So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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